A Whole Year On.
A whole year of a fixed hip. A whole year of hard work.
Although a whole year of some people telling me I’m not ‘old’ enough for a hip surgery. Stereotypically, it’s the older generations that tend to go under the knife for a hip repair or replacement. I thought one of Scotland and Britain’s greatest athletes had started to change that narrative. I thought Andy Murray had normalised hip surgery in the younger population. Maybe I'm wrong. But, it is a lot more common than you think it is.
From my early 20’s I can remember it annoying me, doing the simplist of things. It would come and go. It would flare up and settle down. I’d tell people it was fine, I’d brush it off and think i just had to deal with it. But, it all got too much. It hurt, a lot, and I couldn’t bare the mental load it was causing of not knowing when it was going to cause me bother. It started to influence my golf game, it started to influence my every day living.
I’m absolutely useless at making decisions. But undergoing surgery, was probably one of the the easiest decisions I’ve ever made. Why? Probably because of the discomfort I was feeling. Also the positive prognosis from the surgeon and physios. The positive outcomes of other surgeries I had heard of. I knew it was well worth a shot, surely it couldn’t be any worse!
My days, I’m glad I made that decision. 365 days ago it was fixed and tidied up. Is it 100% yet? No, no it’s not. But it’s close, very close. It’s still a work in progress and it probably always will be. It will continue to improve, gain strength and be where I want it to be. I know that things take time, and through this process I’ve learnt how valuable time and patience is.
It’s been an interesting 12 months. I’ve done a lot, but I also feel I haven’t. One of the hardest things was the feeling of getting left behind. Behind those other girls practicing and competing whilst I sat at home and got my dad to tie my shoes laces.
Of course it wasn’t easy. But it was rewarding. Not only in a physical aspect, but I have learnt a lot about myself over the last year. Probably learnt more about myself over the last 12 months than i can ever remember. Moments like these along the journey of life are set to challenge and teach you things. They say everything happens for a reason, I firmly believe that.
Rehabbing the hip was a full time job. Bike sessions, gym sessions, in the pool, building up walking, some simple but hard rehab exercises, physio sessions, lots of eating, lots of rest. Putting, starting to chip, starting to hit irons, starting to hit drivers, playing a few holes, playing a full round, playing back to back days, playing a competition. A process that I have kept track of every single thing I have done. How many golf balls I have hit, how many weights I have lifted. I'll look back one day and realise what I did, and how proud of myself I am for doing it. Along with the rehab diary, I took videos of so much of the process. It's nice to sit and watch and reflect on how far I have come.
I read a lot. More than I have ever read before. I never was a reader, but this time gave me the perfect opportunity to start. By April I had read more books than I had played golf in 2021, that was an outstanding stat for me! Did reading help? Yes, hugely. I found a book 'Rebound', all about returning to sport post injury. That was my bible.
I listened to many many podcasts. Golf podcasts, diabetes podcasts, comedy podcast. A podcast i found was 'The Injured Athletes Club'. It made me realise I wasn't alone, the irrational thoughts I was having about coming back to playing and training were more than normal. That was so positive. That helped, a lot. That pushed me on. It also made me realise how my injury was so insignificant to what other people were going through. As I've said before, that doesn't necessarily make it easier, but when you hear these positive stories, it spurs you on.
I started this blog, an intention I had for years, so to see it come to fruition and for me to finally do it, I am proud of myself for that. I just hope others can enjoy reading and even take one little thing away and benefit from it. That would be massive for me.
I connected with people who have gone through the same surgery, who are having the same feelings and thoughts. I had friends I hadn't spoken to for a long time reach out and ask me how I was, that meant a lot to me. It's the simple thing of asking someone if they are ok that can mean so much. This process has made me do that even more for others.
Most importantly, i learnt to ask for help. Something i said in my first blog i hoped to get better at, i believe i have. So many people helped me and for that i am so grateful. From my family and friends, to all at SportScotland, I can't thank you all enough.
Maybe I have done quite a lot of things? I know I couldn't have worked any harder.