I often get asked how my diabetes control is. You want a true honest answer? Some days are great, and some days are just simply awful.
I try to go by the motto diabetes lives with me, I don’t live with it. Something I’ve always thought from the moment I was whisked to Inverness in an ambulance during my diagnosis. Of course all diabetics strive to live by that motto, but some days it does control us no matter how hard we try. Do we give up? Absolutely not, because we know we could kick its ass tomorrow, and then the next day and then the next day. But some days you’ve just got to accept, it is what it is.
It’s not nice, it’s diabetes, but as I say time and time again. It’s only diabetes. Does that make it easier though, probably not but I could be in a lot of worse situations where I wasn’t able to do what I love, and for that I’m fortunate.
Diabetes you are an incurable condition. Something I and so many other people have to live with for the rest of our lives. We have to take insulin injections or control an insulin pump every single day. We have to test blood glucose levels and look at readings every single day. We have to carb count everything we eat, every single day. We have to work out how stress, tiredness, illness, temperature, weather, exercise, excitement, adrenaline and so many other factors affect our blood glucose levels, every single day. I’ve missed training sessions and underperformed due to low or high blood glucose levels. I’ve been late as my blood glucose levels have been illegally low in allowing me to drive. I’ve pained those around me with grumps and moans when the days aren’t good. It’s the mental burden. Dealing with stereotype and assumptions. Diabetes you’re relentless. You’re a 24/7 job. You don’t come with days off, you don’t come with a holiday allowance and you certainly don’t come with a manual. You suddenly arrive, uninvited, and change every newly diagnosed diabetics life. You expect us to dust ourselves down and get on with it. And guess what, we do because we as humans aren’t designed just to give up straight away.
The bad always comes with some good. Those everything happens for a reason moments, those moments that realise you were dealt these cards, so you have to deal with them and get on with it.
Diabetes; you’ve made me who I am, it’s given me strength and resilience not many 8 year old’s would be able to find. A resilience I like to think 19 years later is still there, and even stronger. You’ve given me the opportunity to meet new people, so many incredible people with diabetes, a community of us. Others to rant to who understand what it’s like, and I mean really understand what it’s like. I’m fortunate to be sponsored by 2 Diabetes technology companies. You’ve given me the don’t give up attitude since I lay in the hospital bed wondering what was next. I have a greater appreciation of how things can affect not only me, but others around me. The determination to fight on when things aren’t going my way. I can eat what I want, I just need to prepare more. You allow me to actually enjoy some sweet snacks when my blood glucose levels are low. I can still do what ever I want, I just need to prepare. You give me a reason to be proud of who I am and what I have achieved. You’ve given me a platform to inspire fellow diabetics to follow their dreams. Maybe just one day I’ll be a role model for fellow diabetics, much like Sir Steve Redgrave was to me.
Perfection isn’t attainable; but by controlling what we can control and having the patience and resilience, we can get close to perfection. No two days are the same, but they are the same in the way we face this challenge.
It’s funny I say this; it all just relates back to life in general. Control what you can, do what you can, life's full of ups and downs but if you persevere and work for what you want, you’ll get there. Ask for help, give others help. Embrace the good days, acknowledge the bad days. The struggles give you strength.
Diabetes is just something I’ve learnt to live, I still am learning. Of course I’d love to not be diabetic, but it’s made me who I am, Hannah.